Blog # 80…April 2018
I realized as I started number 80 that I’m a blogaholic. As each month rolls along, my compulsion to
post takes over… always something to explore in the art that surrounds us.
We’re constantly being challenged to broaden our notions of
what’s usual, normal or acceptable in the human condition in general and gender
in particular. How we respond to the
challenges depends on our situation - whether and how we’re exposed to people who
are different from us. Thirty years ago
we began to see stories of homosexuals presented in books and films and our
friends, brothers, daughters and even our mothers had the courage to come
out. Still not easy, as you’ll find out
if you go to see Love, Simon, a
touching film about a gay high school boy…but coming out is only the beginning,
being out is where it gets really hard. Supportive communities are in place in large centres, but small towns are still tough going.
In turn, the world of people with other different
expressions of gender is beginning to become more open and very gradually more
understood and accepted. Again, books
and film help to open our eyes to the humanity and struggles of individuals and
of the people who love them.
Annabel, Kathleen Winter’s 2010 novel
introduces us to an intersex child born in the 60’s in a remote community in
Newfoundland. We feel the challenges of
growing up unique, with parents who had opposing views of which gender should
be assigned. It’s a masculine world with a stoic father who traps for a living, wants
a son and calls the child Wayne. She's Annabel to his fanciful mother when they’re alone, dressing up and dreaming of
sequined bathing suits and synchronized swimming. Leaving for the broader world
outside opens the search for ways to exist on her own terms.
In his latest film, Chilean director Sebastian Lelio
introduces us to Marina, a transgender singer who has formed a loving
relationship with an older man. When the
man dies, his family members scorn her and refuse to let her attend his
funeral. A Fantastic Woman is the film’s title as well as a perfect description
of Marina.
Mchelle Alfano shares
her story of welcoming a long awaited daughter in The Unfinished Dollhouse. Longing for a daughter and looking forward to building a
dollhouse together, Michelle begins a troubled trip into motherhood with a
premature birth and a vulnerable baby who survives and develops into a bright
lively child. Until…a dark depression with confusion, anxiety and refusal to
get out of bed culminates in Frankie’s revelation that she’s gay, a step on the
road to realizing that she’s trans. Michelle’s compassionate and heartbreaking
reaction to her daughter - now son’s – situation combines her emotional and
intellectual responses with a candour and courage that will touch all parents,
everyone for that matter.
Gender, parenting and relationships all offer us unique experiences
with some common elements. They are also
ongoing and immensely complex and complicated.
Artists can help us enter stories that support our understanding of the world around us…it’s up to us to listen.
I’m also a swimaholic and on this International Day of
Diversity, as I leave for the pool, here are some words to live by, from me and
from Oscar Wilde…”Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
